For some reason, I've been thinking about marriage. I don't know why it's just been on my mind. I would like to do it, but I'm afraid that I will never have the chance.
And to be honest, that fear has made me bitter at times, jealous of others who have found that happiness. I know that's petty, but I'm human and flawed as fu*k.
I wonder sometimes if I'm really ready for marriage. I was in a long-term relationship and thought I was ready, but I wasn't... not even close to it.
I know it will take a lot of work, but I think I'm still in my selfish phase? I'm trying to break into entertainment, working on different projects and still trying to figure life out. I'm so busy being my own biggest fan, I wonder if I have the time to be someone else's cheerleader?
Basically, these thoughts are fueled by getting older and looking for love... I just... I just don't want miss out and get left behind.
3 comments:
I share the same fear. With many failed relationships and "strikes" against me I fear being old and alone, but I've changed my perception and try to keep a positive mindset.
I know where you're coming from. I used to think the same things about myself. A couple of things to ponder, while you're pondering things, is first, are you okay with spending time with just yourself?, and second, would you be okay with sharing yourself with someone else?, and finally, third, figure out what a successful relationship means to you. I found my soul mate when I stopped looking for him.
I'll say that I felt that way, but then i met Carlos when i wasn't even looking, and when I truly felt that I would live my life alone--though not lonely.
So, it can happen, it does happen, it may happen.
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