Daddies are making a Comeback

I have always liked older guys.

Since I was in Middle School, I had a thing for my P.E. teacher/coach... Actually, I had a thing for many coaches in my teen years.

Anywho, the point of this post is about the rise of the Daddies.

Older guys do have it and finally, the community is catching on it.

From the NY Mag

An informal poll of men reveals that there seems to be an uptick of younger men who are interested in guys of my “seasoned” age bracket. “Guys my age could care less about me. At all,” says one friend in his forties. “Which is fine. We all seem to be occupied with the interests of much younger guys lately.” 

To meet the demand, a daddy industry is developing. There are now tons of non-leather daddy porn sites, a hookup app, Daddyhunt, for “Gay Daddies, Silver Daddies, Muscle Daddies, Bears, Leather Daddies, Big Daddies, and Daddy-Lovers." There is an increasing number of gay porn actors and escorts, who, despite the decimation of the gay adult film industry thanks to Internet, have extended their careers into middle age with equal, if not greater, popularity (Chase Hunter, Allen Silver, and Cole Maverick, to name a few); according to one male escort friend, getting good “reviews” from satisfied customers on the website Daddy’s Reviews has become crucial for business. 

In turn, daddy has gone from being a porn thing to defining a broader range of men. “If you’re hearing daddy more and more, I think that it’s because more gay men are allowing themselves to be attracted to different types of people,” says Conner Habib, a writer, lecturer, and adult-film star. “Rather than a uniform experience of beauty, people want a personalized experience of it. What could be more personalized than a daddy? It expresses character, relationship, experience.”

The Daddies are running it.

Is TR Knight a dirty old gay?

The gay world, or gay media has weighed in on TR Knight's relationship with a 19 year-old boy. To no surprise, many folks think this is bad, like in a dirty old man way. But I haven't heard many supporters of this relationship.

When I mentioned this at work, some people felt that it was just wrong and others just shrugged their shoulders. But are we being too hard on them? Or is there really something going on?

I think it's a little much, to be honest. In an earlier blog, I said that when I was 19, I knew nothing about myself or about life. I couldn't imagine being with someone who's life is in a constant media circus, especially when the guy (TR) just came out not too long ago and was in a celebrity "he said, he said" situation with his co-stars.

And I wonder if TR thought about that when he start dating this guy. I'm sure the guy is enjoying the attention, but is it good for him and is it good for TR? I'm not sure, but it's not my relationship.

I know our experiences are different. The 19 year-old can be very mature and experienced. But I couldn't do it, I would feel I'm robbing the guy of his growing pains. I also wouldn't feel right. I would like a guy to have some sense of self and the scars to prove it. I don't want to be guidance counselor or a mentor, I get paid for that now. In a relationship, I would think you would want someone you can consider your equal. I would have a hard time seeing that notion with a guy, who in theory, could be my kid.

Agatha Christie presents: The Curse of Peter Pan

On the nets today, people are talking about the article in OUT magazine. They are highlighting Disco Daddies, or as I call it, The Curse of Peter Pan. They talk about having it all: kids, two car garage, family life, and the circuit party VIP status. Some are cheering this on, while others are horrified. After reading some of the article, I found myself just shaking my head and asking: When do we officially grow up and take responsibility?

Out magazine has decided to explore a new breed of gay dad in their June/July issue—dubbed "disco dads," the men who have families but still want to go out, hit the circuit parties and hook up on the internet.

The website, The Sword, provides an interesting view to the article.
But shouldn't everyone, including gays, have to sacrifice and grow up a bit when they become parents? These new dads "want to have it all," says Jeffrey Parson, gay dad and psychology professor. "They have... adult responsibilities but they also keep their connections to the community, sometimes in the party scene." We guess that means we'll be seeing more dads "having it all" while waiting for STD screenings at the clinic, baby bouncing on knee.

As I continued reading about this new sub group, I was hit with this statement about a couple looking on Manhunt for some play, and if his daughter wanted to use the computer he would scoot her out and change the screen.

Manhunt? Great, just what our kids need to see. Daddy screwing at the guy that work at their favorite ice cream shop. Or hearing both daddies and some hook up go at it, when the child just had a nightmare. I thought when you wanted to start a family, it meant you wanted to settle down. Maybe times have changed, but I still think someone has to be the grown up.

Also I think this behavior stains our "we're stable parents" argument. When we still want to be "hot" are we really ready to be role models? I don't know. I don't want to judge, but we should let our old young and dumb phases go. Since when did keeping their connections to the community means partying like its 1999? And when did our community become a big ole gay party?

This notion of "having it all" should mean more than threesomes, leather, and shameless mess. It should mean having someone to love you, having a person to grow old with, sharing that love with your children, and growing as a person.