No Director for G.I. Joe 2... I'm HAPPY about that!

Word on the street is Stephen Sommers (the director of HORRIBLE G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie) is not coming back for the sequel.

24 Frames reports:

Stephen Sommers was a divisive choice to direct "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra," the 2009 movie that became a global hit despite lukewarm reviews (and prompted Sommers to offer some, er, words of his own to critics).

Those who were on the fence about the filmmaker can unhook themselves: After reports this summer that Sommers would be returning to direct a planned sequel, it looks like he won't be doing that after all.

Two agents who represent other filmmakers have said they'd recently been approached about their clients coming on to helm the movie and were told that Sommers would not be getting behind the camera. Paramount declined to comment.

It's not Sommers' fault, but I think this is a GREAT THING!
G.I. Joe was a success because of the 'Fool Me Once' Theory. They fooled the true fans and regular people in seeing this re-mess. However, when you watched it, was like someone pulled your eyes out and poured sea salt in your fresh bloody sockets.

G.I. Joe was a JOKE, BLASPHEMOUS and a LIE. Sorry for the caps, but I was heartbroken after seeing this mess of a movie. I was that kid that was possessed by G.I. Joe in the 80s. I had all the major toys and play sets. I spent countless hours playing with my toys, so of course I wanted the movie to be great. But it wasn't. It was CRAP!

So this news is good news. We don't need a sequel, nobody wants a sequel... Nobody! Let this movie die, Paramount. Besides, G.I. Joe Resolute is HELLA BETTER!

Wow, I felt aggressive writing this post.

Who Asked for This?: G.I. Joe 2

There's a sequel to this horrid mess! I guess, I didn't pray to the right gods, Gott Damn!

Here's the slosh

Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have been in the news this week when it was announced they had officially signed on to pen DEADPOOL for 20th Century Fox.

IESB has exclusively learned that not only are these two writing the script for the Merc with the Mouth, they've also just been handed the sequel to G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA that hit theaters this past August with Stephen Sommers at the helm.

Why? Why?

This movie was soooooooooooooooo bad. But those guys wrote Zombieland and it was good.

Could there be hope? Lady Jaye perhaps?

WHAT IF: Quentin Tarantino directed the G.I. Joe movie

I just saw Inglourious Basterds, which is a wonderful film, BTW.

Anywho after 2 hours and 40 minutes of this film, I realized that Quentin could have wrote and directed the G.I. Joe movie.

Could you see it? We would have an action packed, raw, gritty and America-in-your-face movie that G.I. Joe was meant to be. Imagine Quentin's version of Cobra Commander or Destro... The Baroness would've been devilish hot and dangerous.

The Joes would have been funny, real and the violent soldiers we (old school fans) would cream for.
I'm sure he would've delivered 3 hours of Yo Joe madness. I'm almost high from the idea of this fantasy.

Goddess, if I could, I would've begged him to do the G.I. Joe movie. Quentin's version would've been historic. Like Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Death Proof and his other projects, his version would have ruled the summer flicks.

Interesting Quote: Stephen Sommers, the man who Directed (F**KED UP) G.I. Joe

BFD: Is geek love more important than love by mainstream critics?

Sommers: Absolutely. Nobody who goes to see these movies reads Richard Corliss. The mass audience pays no attention to these critics. I’m not sure they matter. It’s about word of mouth. I just got an A with the under-25 crowd. Would I rather have that score or the top 25 critics raving about me? I’ll take what I got. I want as many people as possible to see my movie. I grew up loving movies like `Jaws’ and `Star Wars.’ When you sit in a theater and have that shared experience, it is the biggest rush. From what I saw at theaters, the audience is cheering out loud in all the right places, and laughing in the right places. That is hard to get in pure drama, because there is no audience action until the very end. Some of those movies depend on the positive Corliss review. On the most popular movies of the last decade, the reviews have gotten more vicious, more personal. These critics have become a dying breed, and part of it is how much more vicious and personal they’ve become. They attack the directors, personally.

No, no, no! Real geeks abhor this mess. The mainstream loved this movie because they're are stu... I mean unaware.

And that "under 25" statement? Please, let's be real about those viewers. They are not true fans of the cartoon or really smart geeks either. They are drones.

If critics got their hands on this, the movie would have not done well. And let's be honest, this was not a huge hit, this will DROP big time next week. Plus, Star Trek, Serenity, Iron Man, Dark Knight and LOTR got great reviews and were big hits! So don't kid yourself, Stephen. This is a mess, the real geeks hated it and a sequel will definitely fail.

STOP THE LAZY AND TACKY SUMMER MOVIE CRAP!

Yes, I'm bitter about it!

source

The G.I. Joe I would have Loved

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

Cast
Laz Alonso as Doc
Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye
Billy Crudup as Zartan
Zach Galifiankais as Snow Job
Tony Hale as Dr. Mindbender
Vinnie Jones as Destro
Joey Kern as Tomax
Joey Kern as Xamot
Chuck Liddell as Gung Ho
Julianne Moore as Scarlett
Henry Rollins as Duke
Alan Tudyk as Shipwreck
Olivia Wilde as The Baroness
and
Sgt. Slaughter as Himself
Also featuring Jamin Fite as Cobra Commander
Frankie Kang as Storm Shadow
Geoff Mann as Buzzer
Andreas Owald as Snake Eyes
Daniel Strange as Torch
Kevin Umbricht as Ripper

No JOE! Please, no more JOE!

G.I. Joe... I don't know where to start.

Some of y'all may know, I love G.I. Joe. I spent countless hours of my life playing with my action figures, vehicles, and bases alone in my room. From the age of 10-14, I was lost in G.I. Joe. So the movie had me excited and scared at the same time.

So, I just saw the movie a few hours ago and I wanted to break it down in Pros and Cons.
Let's start with the Cons.

Con

• The Baroness-the worst character in the whole movie. She was the love of Duke, but turned evil by rage and nanobites (broke). The Baroness I know and love is ruthless, cunning and evil. She could not be trusted and she was a force to reckoned with. This broke ass version of her is a joke. She didn't even have an accent.
  
  
• Destro-He was ridic, he was Irish (nothing against Irish people) and he wasn't anything to fear. The real Destro is an arms dealer, a terrorist and an asshole. This Destro was so silly and nothing to take seriously at all.
• Rex/Cobra Commander-WTF? A waste of a character. They literately F**K, CC up!
  
• The Plot- Cobra wanted to... I don't know. Attack the world, but tell no one about it? That sucked! In the cartoon, Cobra loved to tell the world leaders they were coming for the planet. This terrorist group did nothing but wasted half of the movie on crap.
• Ripcord-he was a 1st season reject... How did he get a role in the movie?
• Too many flashbacks. They showed so many flashbacks of Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, I thought it was Kill Bill 3. And no one cared about Duke's past, yet there were 3 flashback stories about him.
• It was too "Duke" focused. He leads the group, but this ain't Duke and G.I. Joe, right?
• If G.I. Joe knew everything about Duke, then they would have known about the Baroness, but they didn't.
• The soundtrack sucked. The used the Black Eyed Peas as the closing song. I don't which one, their songs suck.
  
• The script was bad.
• The action suits... Gag me with Zak Efron's Cock, man!

Pros

• Scarlett and her crossbow.
• Channing-Sorry, he's so cute.
• Snake Eyes- I always had a crush on him.
• U.S. Flagg aircraft carrier was in it! It was my favorite toy.
• Zartan
  
• The fighting.

This movie is forgettable and less than I thought it would be. It doesn't deserve a sequel at all. In fact, this movie should be it. Look at Fantastic Four, it was a lackluster movie and sequel was a hot mess.

This wasn't a complete hot mess, but it's lukewarm. I hope, I really hope that we DON'T get a part 2.