What is this? This guy, Paul Angelo, some gay matchmaker from Miami, wants a 60-day moratorium on gay sex. Why? To get your self-esteem in order, especially if you're a bottom. No joke, kids.
When the body performs activities that are not in congruence with the beliefs and logic of the brain, conflict is created and with each repetition of the act, self-esteem of the person is reduced."I don't know about this. If you know what you like, you like it. Why would you feel less than a person? I'm a little lost with this belief. What do you think?
Angelo explains that because men behave differently than women, the brain is taught to accept as valid all behaviors that are associated with masculinity and strength. The moment that the brain receives messages that are NOT congruent with the definition of masculinity - the person gets confused.
Aggressive or "pushy" bottoms are an example of this confusion. Those are gay men who succeeded in business and show masculinity in day-to-day life, but in the bedroom - end up engaging in receptive anal intercourse.
"The worse part about this destruction of self-esteem is that it's on the subconscious level. A person will not feel anything during the act. And the pleasure derived from the act will override the logic necessary to correct the behavior. In addition, there is a delay between the act of anal intercourse and the reduction of self-esteem of the person" says Angelo.
"If you were to put all gay men together in a big warehouse and place the 'bottoms' on the left and the 'tops' on the right, you'd start seeing negative consequences of the anal sex play out in real life for the bottoms such as: disrespect for their general health, failure at work, failure in love and relationships." says Angelo.
"I am not saying that every gay man should stop anal intercourse today. What I recommend is that gay men re-think the "Gay-Lifestyle" strategy and stop for one second to question the validity of all that is gay" says Angelo.
7 comments:
I think Paul Angelo is a fucked up mess.
Asshat.
Moratorium this!
It's bullshit, his cause/effect relationship backwards. There are people with self-esteem problems who seek out behavior that makes them feel emasculated/degraded/humiliated; that behavior could be bottoming, being the sub in bondage, spanking, watersports, whatever. But they have the self-esteem problem before they start bottoming. Anyone who feels degraded or less of a man when he's bottoming has a problem, but it originated somewhere else.
Most bottoms are bottoming because it feels so damn good.
I have never submitted to any man in bed; whatever is done is only done with my willing participation. In fact, I am usually the one who says what I want done and how I want it done. If I want to take a 'submissive' role, as a bottom or playing the part of the sub in bondage, it's only because I choose to, not because I'm weak or prey to some strong victimizer.
This guy is the one with the destroyed self-esteem. PBeing afraid of sex and putting so much emphasis on ancient gender roles is tragic, and I have to question how secure anyone is with his own sexual identity if he can only feel like a man by adhering to traditional 'masculine' behavior.
Basically, I wish people like him and the ex-gays and the closeted Republicans and the rest would work out their shit in private and leave the rest of us the hell out of it. Who the hell is man to tell me that what I do with my partner is wrong, or makes me less-than?
His misguided concept of sex is not what irks me, it's too ridiculous to make me feel anything but pity for him. What pisses me off is that he thinks he can publicly diagnose so many people that he clearly knows nothing about.
He does have a very small bit of a point. I've never met a "top" who was reluctant to shout it to the world, bottoms not so much. I think today's generation is more comfortable with their "position" just as they are with being out.
Paul Angelo is a self hating gay. That is all.
I think what messes with the self esteem of gays, whether top or bottom, has more to do with the homophobia they experience while growing up, in movies, tv, literature, religion, politics, and other sources that paint a negative picture or promote intolerance of glbt folks.
He obviously never seen a power bottom go to werk and run the show.
May I please get the address of this warehouse......Looking forward to standing on the left.
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