Some of y'all may know, I love G.I. Joe. I spent countless hours of my life playing with my action figures, vehicles, and bases alone in my room. From the age of 10-14, I was lost in G.I. Joe. So the movie had me excited and scared at the same time.
So, I just saw the movie a few hours ago and I wanted to break it down in Pros and Cons.
Let's start with the Cons.
Con
- The Baroness-the worst character in the whole movie. She was the love of Duke, but turned evil by rage and nanobites (broke). The Baroness I know and love is ruthless, cunning and evil. She could not be trusted and she was a force to reckoned with. This broke ass version of her is a joke. She didn't even have an accent.
- Destro-He was ridic, he was Irish (nothing against Irish people) and he wasn't anything to fear. The real Destro is an arms dealer, a terrorist and an asshole. This Destro was so silly and nothing to take seriously at all.
- Rex/Cobra Commander-WTF? A waste of a character. They literately F**K, CC up!
- The Plot- Cobra wanted to... I don't know. Attack the world, but tell no one about it? That sucked! In the cartoon, Cobra loved to tell the world leaders they were coming for the planet. This terrorist group did nothing but wasted half of the movie on crap.
- Ripcord-he was a 1st season reject... How did he get a role in the movie?
- Too many flashbacks. They showed so many flashbacks of Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, I thought it was Kill Bill 3. And no one cared about Duke's past, yet there were 3 flashback stories about him.
- It was too "Duke" focused. He leads the group, but this ain't Duke and G.I. Joe, right?
- If G.I. Joe knew everything about Duke, then they would have known about the Baroness, but they didn't.
- The soundtrack sucked. The used the Black Eyed Peas as the closing song. I don't which one, their songs suck.
- The script was bad.
- The action suits... Gag me with Zak Efron's Cock, man!
- Scarlett and her crossbow.
- Channing-Sorry, he's so cute.
- Snake Eyes- I always had a crush on him.
- U.S. Flagg aircraft carrier was in it! It was my favorite toy.
- Zartan
- The fighting.
This wasn't a complete hot mess, but it's lukewarm. I hope, I really hope that we DON'T get a part 2.
3 comments:
You know I think I owned that battle ship a long time ago.
=o)
Allen
The only reason I wanted to see it was because of Channing Tatum. He is a hunk factory and a half!
Although I thought the movie was fun, I have to agree with all of the points you made. My biggest gripe is that the Baroness was bad and then good. She wasn't tough enough for Scarlet to battle. Another small thing for me was in the comic series RIPCORD was white. It didn't bug me that a black actor was playing him, it bothered me that are a lot of black characters in the GI JOE universe who I thought could have been more interesting than RIPCORD. There's ROADBLOCK, STALKER, AlPINE, and DOC.
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