Since it's Friday, I thought it would be fun to play If Rick Perry Was President
I will provide some statements to start, please feel free to send me yours
If Rick Perry was President...
- Homeschooling will receive federal money and a Pell Grant
- Speaking in tongues would be deemed the second language in America
- TV will go off the air at midnight
- Texas will be considered America 2
- Sandi Patti will sing at every State of the Union address
- God Bless the USA will be the new national anthem
- Book burning will be a sport
- The Response will replace Jerry Lewis' MDA Labor Day Telethon
- Rodeos will be a required sport in High Schools
- Food Stamps will be the new Platinum card (check his economic performance)
- Prayer will be another energy source
- The Death Penalty will be a part of Health Care
4 comments:
Everyone back in the closet, just like the President.
Science will be banned from the educational curriculum and replaced with school prayer.
Everyone will be forced to buy gas-guzzling motor vehicles that get less than 15 mpg.
Learning how to fire a handgun will become mandatory for all Americans age 5 and up. Each American will be required to carry a handgun at all times.
All National Parks will be auctioned off to the highest bidders on Wall Street.
The rest of the country will be auctioned off to the highest bidders on Wall Street.
The EPA will be abolished and all pollution-control laws will be suspended indefinitely.
Membership in the Democratic Party will become illegal.
Failure to convert to evangelical Christianity will result in the death penalty.
Also:
Illegal aliens will be ground up into hamburger and fed to cattle.
Vegetarianism will become illegal. Everyone will be required to eat beef at least 3 times a day.
In order to provide health care services to the general population, physicians will be replaced by exorcists, nurses will be replaced by palm readers, and all other medical providers will be replaced by magicians.
I might seriously consider finally moving down to Brazil.
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