Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Who Asked for This? Fifty Shades of Grey the movie?


This hurts my spirit, soul and afterlife. For some unGODLY reason, a studio wants to make a movie based on the shitty Fifty Shades of Grey series.

If you haven't heard about this book, then you're lucky. But to break this mess down, it's about a college girl who falls for some rich dude with abusive sexual desires. This book was originally, TWILIGHT FAN FICTION! Seriously, it was a bunch of crap read by sad and lonely women.

However, it got real popular and all of a sudden, it's a best selling book. You know, I hate to say it, but I truly believe the majority of our country is stupid. But that's another post for another time. Anywho, folks bought this mess and now, Universal and Focus Feature studios have hired top notched producers to make this malarkey happen.

Collider reports:

 Producers Michael De Luca and Dana Brunetti have been tapped by Universal and Focus Features to produce the big screen iteration of Fifty Shades of Grey.  Somewhat surprisingly the studios did not choose some tween pandering or hyper-commercial duo, as De Luca and Brunetti both produced David Fincher’s The Social Network, with De Luca also producing one of last year’s best films, Moneyball
These are serious producers! Are they really doing this? And how will this movie actually work? This is a new broke version of 91/2 Weeks/Showgirls/God Created Woman kind of mess. These movies were hot to watch, but in the end, they were box-office poison. Who will rush out to see this movie? Not the tweens, they are underage. Not the gays, we can watch actually porn (Titan Media or Bound in Public, holla!) and most women find this book to be quite silly, so I don't see a hit.

Plus, the woman in this story is not a heroine, she is a confused victim. What woman wants to see another woman play a willing victim for 2 ass hours? Personally, Fifty Shades is a setback for women... 1950s setback!

I'm totally floored by this. Not because stupidity reigns, but the fact there are more intelligent and intriguing stories out there and they have to take a backseat to this shitty mommy porn.

What the FRAK is really happening here?

2 comments:

www.DiatribesAndOvations.com said...

I'll believe it when I see it. Any young actress in Hollywood (and their agents) will surely view this as a career-ending opportunity ... and Lohan is too old.

behrmark said...

I knew nothing about this book despite seeing piles of it at Costco. And the reason someone wants to make a movie out of it is because Hollywood is out of ideas. Even you reported on the trillionth remake of Superman.

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Viktor is a small town southern boy living in Los Angeles. You can find him on Twitter, writing about pop culture, politics, and comics. He’s the creator of the graphic novel StrangeLore and currently getting back into screenwriting.