When I was 12

Don't Stop Believing is a classic song. I think most of us love it and have it somewhere in music collection. Tonight, I heard it on the radio as I was driving on La Brea. Instantly, I thought about Brian, a 13 year-old boy that changed my life.

In 1986, my family went Ripley, TN for Thanksgiving at my step-father's mother's home. I was 12 and silly, with my Kodak camera and snake-skinned fannypack. I thought I was the bomb and fashionable (wrong). But during our visit, I hung out with my somewhat cousins. While we were sitting on the curb, Brian and his younger brother walked up.

Brian was so cute. He had dark hair, green/blue eyes, and muscular build. I quickly start liking him and it was the first time I was cool with liking a guy. In fact, I was all tinglily inside when I shook his hand.

We all walked around the neighborhood, throwing rocks and picking up sticks around the way. Brian came from a poor family. His dad worked all night, while his mom stayed home. The one thing he had that was a huge deal to him, was his Honda Spree. His dad won it at the country fair and gave to him and his brother.

During the our walk, Brian and I walked ahead of the others. He asked me if I was rich, since we had a Cadillac. I told him no, I asked him about his life. He said that he wanted to go into the army and be like Sgt Slaughter. At the time, I thought it could happen. He could've said that he wanted to be a genie and I would've gave him a pop bottle.

After talking and walking, he took me on a ride on his scooter. I remember holding on to him, smelling his hair and the sweat on his neck. I told him to go faster and he told me to hold on. And I did.

Later in his room, we looked through his Garbage Pail Kids cards and Transformers. His room was small and smelled like boy's room. He had a poster of Bon Jovi and record player on top of a dresser with a missing drawer. He turned on the radio and pulled out some Oreo cookies from under his bed. As we ate the cookies and played with his Transformers, Don't Stop Believing came on.

For some reason, the song made me feel...cute. I felt like we were on a date, sharing stale cookies and chilling on his bed. Afterwards we joined the others, along with more kids and played hide-go -seek. Every time, we hid together. Then in the final game, we hid in a shed. Brian was behind me and I was trying not to get too close. But when I felt his boner, I could've died. Then out of nowhere, he pulled me to him and said, "can I do it?". And I said "yes".

Suddenly he was dry humping me, kissing my neck, and squeezing my hips. I was in Heaven, for about 10 minutes, I was there. Until his brother found us. He didn't noticed anything, but I noticed a small wet spot in front of Brian's pants. I didn't know what that meant at the time, but I never forgot it.

Then it was time to go back home in Union City, Brian took me behind my family's house and hugged me and said, "don't tell anyone." and I said, "I won't, I promise." And just like that I was on my way home.

When I went to bed, the same song, Don't Stop Believing came on. And since then it was considered my first date song. I never saw Brian again, but I will never forget him. I will never forget our sticky sweet innocent/lust ridden night. It was the first time I felt good about liking guys. It would be a long time before I would feel like that again; but I was glad I had that moment.