Tuesday, May 20, 2008
On the nets today, people are talking about the article in OUT magazine. They are highlighting Disco Daddies, or as I call it, The Curse of Peter Pan. They talk about having it all: kids, two car garage, family life, and the circuit party VIP status. Some are cheering this on, while others are horrified. After reading some of the article, I found myself just shaking my head and asking: When do we officially grow up and take responsibility?
Out magazine has decided to explore a new breed of gay dad in their June/July issue—dubbed "disco dads," the men who have families but still want to go out, hit the circuit parties and hook up on the internet.
The website, The Sword, provides an interesting view to the article.
But shouldn't everyone, including gays, have to sacrifice and grow up a bit when they become parents? These new dads "want to have it all," says Jeffrey Parson, gay dad and psychology professor. "They have... adult responsibilities but they also keep their connections to the community, sometimes in the party scene." We guess that means we'll be seeing more dads "having it all" while waiting for STD screenings at the clinic, baby bouncing on knee.
As I continued reading about this new sub group, I was hit with this statement about a couple looking on Manhunt for some play, and if his daughter wanted to use the computer he would scoot her out and change the screen.
Manhunt? Great, just what our kids need to see. Daddy screwing at the guy that work at their favorite ice cream shop. Or hearing both daddies and some hook up go at it, when the child just had a nightmare. I thought when you wanted to start a family, it meant you wanted to settle down. Maybe times have changed, but I still think someone has to be the grown up.
Also I think this behavior stains our "we're stable parents" argument. When we still want to be "hot" are we really ready to be role models? I don't know. I don't want to judge, but we should let our old young and dumb phases go. Since when did keeping their connections to the community means partying like its 1999? And when did our community become a big ole gay party?
This notion of "having it all" should mean more than threesomes, leather, and shameless mess. It should mean having someone to love you, having a person to grow old with, sharing that love with your children, and growing as a person.