Monday, June 7, 2010

Sign up for your Gay Exorcism, today!


Yes, Gay Exorcisms exist and many crazy religious folks believe we can be saved from SalZul, the dark demon of Male Lust (I just made up, because I felt creative).

Details Magazine just did an article on this issue. They talked to a few victims of this foolishness.

Here's a piece of Kevin Robinson's story:

"I have a lot on my mind right now—my mind isn't focused," Kevin explained to the woman, whose name was Mary. She was in her late thirties, slim, and wore a black dress. "Could you please pray for that?"

"Are you gay?" the prophet asked him.

In a quiet, gentle voice, Kevin acknowledged that he was.

"Speak up," the woman commanded. "I can't hear you."

Yes, Kevin repeated, he was gay.

"You need to be delivered from homosexuality," the prophet said into a microphone so that all the church could hear. Kevin was embarrassed, but he stayed put. This was no normal preacher—she spoke God's truth. According to church dogma, homosexuality is a sin foisted on humans by demons who take possession of their bodies and compel them to act against God's will. These evil spirits can be exorcised by those trained in spiritual warfare in a ritual known among Pentecostal Christians as deliverance. Perhaps, Kevin thought, this prophet could finally deliver him from his demons.

The prophet placed her hands on Kevin and began to pray over him. "Come out, come out!" she shouted. "In the name of Jesus, I command you to come out! You gonna free him right now!"

Kevin closed his eyes, thinking to himself, "There's something wrong with me; I need to change." A part of him believed this prophet could do what no one else had been able to do during previous deliverance attempts—make him heterosexual. But the prophet was loud and she looked at him with disgust and contempt as her chants became more and more belligerent. Even now Kevin can't bring himself to repeat the most hurtful things she said. He soon began to cry. And then, with the prophet still exhorting the demons in him to depart, he blacked out and collapsed. When he regained consciousness, he stood up and returned to his seat. His shame was turning to rage. He searched his mind and thoughts and found he was unchanged—he was still attracted to men. In the past it had been family members—his mother, his aunt, or his uncle, the church's pastor—who performed deliverance on him. This time it was a stranger, and she had pushed him beyond the breaking point. Never again, he decided, would he allow himself to be treated this way.

It was, by Kevin's count, at least the 10th time since he was 16 that he'd subjected himself to gay exorcism.

The 10th? Great Hera, the abuse he has to endure for this mess! It's funny, there's no demon for men who cheat on their wives, Golddiggers, or sex addicts. And why would a demon want to make someone gay?

If I was possessed by a demon, I would do something else like fly, cast spells or start my dream music career.

Silly religious folks, demons have better things to do than to force men to give blow jobs to other men.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You'd think one would get the idea after the 2nd or 3rd try that:

a) There is no such thing as a gay demon

b) And that being gay is an innate, immutable characteristic of being human.

Bruno Laliberté said...

i'm with you on that, i'd get my demon a more interesting agenda...

Prince Todd said...

Once my friend said his mother sent him to a pastor to be counseled for his homosexuality. Well, long story short, the pastor pulled his dick out and asked my friend to go down on him.
My friend ran out. Looks like the clergy are possessed to. ::shrug::

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Viktor is a small town southern boy living in Los Angeles. You can find him on Twitter, writing about pop culture, politics, and comics. He’s the creator of the graphic novel StrangeLore and currently getting back into screenwriting.