I have been single for almost three months and it has been a good thing.
I say that because I have learned and faced some of my faults and issues about relationships. My ex didn't feel loved and sensed that I was going in a different direction. And he was right, I was. He became a security blanket, something that I took for granted. I love him, but I wasn't in love with him as much as I used to be.
That's tough to say, but I had to say it. I knew it and I refused to believe it. I guess I thought you stick it out and things get better. But that's not the way to handle a relationship. I'm not mad at him, disappointed, but not mad. I want us to be friends and I want him to find happiness.
As for me, I am rediscovering myself. I'm loosening some of moral hang-ups and being open to different types of experiences. I'm also being honest about what I want.
This time alone has made me realize a few things. I have to take risk if I want to get the prize. Right now, the prize isn't a guy; it's the solid understanding of myself. The bitter with the sweet, the bad with the good. That is what I'm fighting for at the moment.
A better me will lead to better things.
4 comments:
Sounds like a healthy recovery!
I remember going through this once I hit 36 years old. It's scary at first, but after awhile you get used to the new you -- which is like the same you but only more rounded.
I haven't dated in a few years, but it's not because I can't find someone. I've become pickier. I'm more in tune with my emotional needs, and if those aren't met I won't be with someone.
Not even if they're Bradley Cooper or Shemar Moore.
OMG! I did not know that you and Jamie broke up.
I am so sorry. =0(
*hugs*
Don't worry, I'm good, boo.
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