Duncan Roy wrote this interesting article about reasons why some gay men can't stay sober. He mentioned that sex is the reason.
In his article, Duncan speaks on why hang-ups about sex and morality leads our community down a dangerous path.
He writes:
Gay men find it impossible to stay sober. They relapse again and again. The reason is clear: sex. Sexual addiction. I am not suggesting that all gay men who claim that they are alcoholic are in fact sex addicts but most gay men who can't stay sober cite sex as the primary reason for relapse.I found this to be very interesting and there were some good points made. Please check it and let me know your thoughts.
The simple fact of the matter is that most of the time, readily available anonymous hook ups quickly take the place of alcohol and drugs. When a sober man walks into the apartment of a super hot man doing crystal meth, sobriety is quickly flushed down the toilet along with HIV status.
source
4 comments:
Intriguing perspective that offers some serious "food-for-thought." Most minority and marginalized communities are at higher risk for abusive behaviors. We, in the same gender loving community, definitely need to address this issue before we can truly be free.
Very interesting. I agree that a lot of gay men view/use sex as a way to be validated/be loved, which can lead to engaging in dangerous behavior. I think everyone in our community, recovering addicts/alcoholics or not, could benefit from having alternative spaces to socialize that don't involve bars and half-naked boys.
Though I would argue drug use and sex aren't always related; I was a heavy weed smoker during my closeted days, but it was because I wanted to be numb to the fact I wanted to be with men, not as a gateway to meeting and sleeping with men.
The one place where I'd have to disagree with him is the need to embrace god/a higher power to maintain sobriety. While it's true some gay guys probably do reject religion out of a bad experience and are still believers deep down, others genuinely believe there isn't a supernatural force out there.
Maybe a an alternative step/path is needed for those folks. I've never done AA, so I can't be sure there already is one, but it's something to think about. Good article.
I am trying to make a connection between alcohol and sex. It might be plausible to argue that alcohol can be used as a way to comfort some gay men during depression and sadness.
In the case of sex, many men try to turn to sex as an alternative to find love. It's already hard for many gay me to find love. In addition, some men might have past issues that they haven't addressed so turning to alcohol and sex might be a way to cope with it.
I was a drunk to help change my mood when I was really depressed, but that just made things worst. I wasn't looking for sex at the time either. I had my moments, but mostly, I just used alcohol to numb the misery I was feeling while dealing with my emotions and sexuality...just like YoungBlackGay said.
At was pretty much at the end of my rope at the time, until I finally took action in getting help. Staying "lit", as I like to call it, kept me calm enough to get through the day and those long lonely nights when I felt I didn't have anyone to talk to about my problems, so I think it's more of a means to cope with depression...In my case, it was.
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