My friend and I were talking the other night at our favorite diner. He told me that he somewhat gives his ex (the sad ex, I wrote about before) false hope about a possible future.
When I dug a little further, he revealed that he does just because he's lonely. My friend said it gives him a sense of security that somebody out there wants him. I was a little shocked, but I could see where he was coming from.
One of my friends stayed in a relationship for 6 years acting as a bottom, but was really a top. He never said anything until it was too late and his relationship ended because of it. He later said that he stayed quiet because he didn't want to be alone.
Another friend slept around because he didn't want to be alone every night.
And I stayed in an useless relationship for 7 months because I didn't want to be lonely.
How many of us have done interesting things just to avoid loneliness?
I told my friend that it was unfair to his ex and to himself. He knew that, but felt if he completely let him go, the loneliness will eat him alive.
I hope he can change his frame of thinking.
8 comments:
This post made me cry.
I can identify with that, and not necessarily just with a romantic involvement.
My family is incredibly dysfunctional. YET, I would subject myself to the holidays with them just to keep from being by myself. Eventually, I had to think better of myself than that (thankfully I did).
Beyonce's song "Scared of Lonely" is the truth.
Very interesting! I'm a loner myself. And funny thing, some of my best freinds are alone too. I'm starting to wonder if our perfect mates are these people going to drastic lengths to keep from being alone. (the 2 never to meet.)
Loneliness is a powerful emotion and the fear of experiencing it can make us do unbelievable things. I stayed in a relationship too long once, because I was afraid of being alone. That was a long time ago and hindsight is always twenty twenty.
I felt lonely during my marriage and have been alone but not lonely since my divorce.
I'm used to being alone, so loneliness doesn't even pass my mind anymore. I learned to always keep myself busy with some type of task that always me to always be entertained and preoccupied. That's the thing you have to learn to keep yourself entertained when others such as friends can't do that for you.
Sometimes I feel my loneliness is eating me alive. Thank God for my novel I'm trying to write or poetry ideas that pop in my head. Thank God for my love of writing. Otherwise I would cry more than I do now. 11/11 is my birthday. It'll be another one without a girlfriend to celebrate it with. Also, thanks God for my God-daughter. Somehow, she knows to call me at the exact moment I'm feeling really low.
But someone in a tired relationship once told me, 'it's better to be alone than to wish you were.'
Sometimes I feel my loneliness is eating me alive. Thank God for my novel I'm trying to write or poetry ideas that pop in my head. Thank God for my love of writing. Otherwise I would cry more than I do now. 11/11 is my birthday. It'll be another one without a girlfriend to celebrate it with. Also, thanks God for my God-daughter. Somehow, she knows to call me at the exact moment I'm feeling really low.
But someone in a tired relationship once told me, 'it's better to be alone than to wish you were.'
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