As a dark-skinned Black man, I have faced both overt and subtle instances of racism from white gay men. The ways in which I have been objectified and fetishized by them has often made me feel that I’m only good enough for sex and not for a relationship. I’ve received messages that said, "I love BBC," or "I never been with a Black guy before," or, on the opposite end of the "no Blacks" spectrum, I've seen white men who are "not into white guys, sorry."Please read the entire article. It's very engaging.
When I'm dating a white man, I occasionally feel like I need to confront the issue of race head-on and acknowledge the difference in life experiences between me and my partner. It can be frustrating, but also deeply enriching, to teach someone about my cultural upbringing. But the older I get, the more I find myself wanting a partner who can relate to me without needing to be taught. I’ve become increasingly drawn to the concept of Black love, which celebrates Black couples and affirms Black pride within relationships, and I eventually want to experience this.
Also, he reference one of my articles in this piece.
1 comment:
At just under 25 years old, it seems that Aaron is over-thinking this whole dating thing. Of course, I wasn't out at 25 and wouldn't be for several more years, but I never got caught up with what a man's skin color was. However, as a white man, I tended to date black men because white men always had much more baggage. Black men tended to be more laid back and fun. Was that indicative of their skin color or their personality?
My husband is black and used to be a flight attendant back in the 70's and 80's. Yes, he was a fly-boy and used it to his advantage. One night during this time period, he spoke to a white guy, just to alleviate the boredom. The man freaked, saying he had never been with a black man before and didn't think he ever could. A few hours later, my hubby couldn't get rid of him. LOL
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