Monday, October 6, 2014
Haunted by the Wedding Bell Blues
For some reason, I've been thinking about marriage. I don't know why it's just been on my mind. I would like to do it, but I'm afraid that I will never have the chance.
And to be honest, that fear has made me bitter at times, jealous of others who have found that happiness. I know that's petty, but I'm human and flawed as fu*k.
I wonder sometimes if I'm really ready for marriage. I was in a long-term relationship and thought I was ready, but I wasn't... not even close to it.
I know it will take a lot of work, but I think I'm still in my selfish phase? I'm trying to break into entertainment, working on different projects and still trying to figure life out. I'm so busy being my own biggest fan, I wonder if I have the time to be someone else's cheerleader?
Basically, these thoughts are fueled by getting older and looking for love... I just... I just don't want miss out and get left behind.