Thursday, March 21, 2013

My Top 10 Ways to Upgrade Black Gay Porn

Alright! I'm done, Jesus! (using my Sweet Brown voice)

I'm done with these tired Black gay adult movies! They look like some sad High School Senior project for film class.

The men look broke, the sets are at somebody's mama's house and production is poo-putt. It's a shame that the Black gay porn industry has NOT advanced in the last 30 years. However, I have some suggestions on turning this around.
  1. No Thug Life! Not all of us are in love with the thug imagery, diversify the look please.
  2. Raise some money! BG porn companies try to get a loan, use Kickstarter or have some telethons or something. These dollar store sets and cameras are a hot ass mess! Hire some eager film students to get the look and the feel of movie on point.
  3. Stop wearing do-rags and dirty socks in the scenes. Not sexy!
  4. Use condoms.
  5. Find some SEXY men, please. Stop hiring and recruiting Pookie and them from the local Steak-n-Shake.
  6. Different storylines! Let's have Roman gods or an orgy in Paris. Stop using drug dealer and gang-related themes.
  7. Try to build a brand. Go beyond stereotypical styles and set a new trend in the BG porn biz. Titan Media has a brand, Falcon, C1R, Randy Blue also have a brand. We need good branding to make better porn.
  8. Make sure the actors are tested and healthy.
  9. Work with the top porn directors and producers. 
  10.  Use better marking to sell the porn. Stop putting the entire movie on the DVD case!
In all, just upgrade this mess. I need something to believe in.

7 comments:

K. Clark said...

Lmao @ Pookie and them. What about some Egyptian orgies? King Ramses Rimshots lmao!

Jezza said...

LMBAO!!! Hilariously True!
This list couldn't be more accurate!

AD said...

Yeah man, please... enough with Pookie and the hood sh*t! Why can't we have some black cowboys or something? Unchain that D'Jango in those trousers Hahaha.

Something different (anything different.) Some storylines, some tenderness even. Think outside of the black box. Where are the clean-cut, corporate brothers? Where are the foiiine Olympic track star looking brothers in athletic gear? Where is the elusive hot nerd of color?? These are real, everyday people who are not represented in porn.

Bama Boi said...

Ha! I cosign

Rusty said...

Hottest black porn I've seen was either Black Men Wrestling or an interracial scene from MEN studious called Blind Date. The former has men from a bunch of backgrounds who get together to fuck each other up and then start fucking when they are already sweaty. The blind date had a funny and cute set up then some hot hot sex

I can't stand shit like Thugboy and RawThisorThat and Chocolate Cream needs to spend some money because they've been using the same bedroom with the same bedsheets for like 6 years.

Rusty said...

ALSO
BAREBACK IS NOT A GENRE OF PORN OR A KIND OF SEX!!

taking off a condom doesn't suddenly make your boring ass porn better and mofos need to stop coing at me with their "raw" fetishes

Rusty said...

@K Clark I've seen one eqyptian themed porn from the 90s, from All Worlds studios I think, and all the actors were white -__-