Sierra Mannie struck a nerve with many White Gay men over her TIME.com post. If you haven't heard about it, here's the quick and dirty: She wants White Gay men to stop fooling around with Black women culture.
After reading it, engaging in convo/arguments, re-reading... I think I see where she's coming from. First, I will say that her approach was a bit 'young'. You can tell she's hasn't had a lot of experience on the topic, but it still doesn't negate the point.
There is an issue here. Some white gay men feel that they have to turn it up to talk to a Black woman. I've seen it a lot, especially during my former job. My boss is a Black woman and when White gays talk to her, they turn up the "Blackish Mannerisms." I guess in their minds, they are connecting with her, laying down the red carpet so to say.
And while they mean no harm at all, they have no idea that it's a bit insulting to Black women. I believe you shouldn't have to change your overall demeanor when you're meeting or talking to someone of another race or culture. Sure, there are some things to pay more attention to, but you don't have go down Stereotype Dr. to do so.
So, White Gay men, when you meet a sista don't put your hand on your hip, smack your lips, roll your head and serve your best Nene Leakes drag. Just talk to her like a normal everyday person. She may be fabulous, but she is also human.
3 comments:
My take: if you have to take on a persona, any persona, you aren't being real.
Be.Real.
How was the move?
I didn't remember it until I was reading your post but my own experience from years ago was 1. I thought gays were doing it first, 2. when working with women who spoke like that - rather than imitating them I think it was just fun and infectious. Sorta like when you have someone with a thick southern accent working with you in NY or someone with a british or Australian accent.
Like everything, there are those that take it way too far.
Maybe save your Nene Leakes drag for when you and the Black woman you've just met are a little better acquainted.
I've seen this happen. There is pressure to connect right away, immediately, that causes a lot of people - not just white, gay men - to jump on the first thing they see as a means to make that connection - and that tends to be stereotypes.
It's like we've all suddenly because 14 years old again - all elbows, knees and boners and don't know how to talk to anybody as a human being.
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