I can’t speak for all gay men, but I can tell you what I have faced as an overweight gay man. I can tell you that when I lost 15 pounds due to depression, a well-meaning older gay man told me I had done the right thing, because my only other option would have been to gain weight and become a bear. I can tell you that one person I tried to date helpfully offered, “You could be really attractive if you lost some weight.” And I can tell you that I deleted Grindr after one night when a stranger messaged me to let me know that if I shed a few pounds I “might actually be cute.”Sad, but true article.
It would be comforting to dismiss these as isolated incidents, but based on conversations with other gay men like me, I don’t think they’re all that unusual. The truth is, the gay community isn’t interested in embracing overweight people because we’re a blemish on the image of perfection. And much in the same way progressives as a whole can get away with ignoring anti-fat bigotry, gay men never bother examining the way they treat their overweight brothers. Ignore us or relegate us to the butt of hackneyed jokes: We just don’t matter. It doesn’t get better for us.
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