Three Months Single, What have I learned

 

This is a ramble, so be warned

I have been single for almost three months and it has been a good thing.

I say that because I have learned and faced some of my faults and issues about relationships. My ex didn't feel loved and sensed that I was going in a different direction. And he was right, I was. He became a security blanket, something that I took for granted. I love him, but I wasn't in love with him as much as I used to be.

That's tough to say, but I had to say it. I knew it and I refused to believe it. I guess I thought you stick it out and things get better. But that's not the way to handle a relationship. I'm not mad at him, disappointed, but not mad. I want us to be friends and I want him to find happiness.

As for me, I am rediscovering myself. I'm loosening some of moral hang-ups and being open to different types of experiences. I'm also being honest about what I want.

This time alone has made me realize a few things. I have to take risk if I want to get the prize. Right now, the prize isn't a guy; it's the solid understanding of myself. The bitter with the sweet, the bad with the good. That is what I'm fighting for at the moment.

A better me will lead to better things.