His father disowned him.
I was truly shocked because I never knew anyone personally who experienced this. This really hurt my partner, but now he's ready to share his experience:
In August of 2007, I finally built up the courage to tell my father I was gay. The moment I said it, the phone got quiet and he got off the phone after a few "Okay"s. I decided to give him time to process the news. About a week later, and not long before my birthday, I received the following letter:
"James: This is a difficult but necessary letter to write. I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past. Don’t expect any further conversations With me. No communications at all. I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house. You’ve made your choice though Wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle. If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand. Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye, Dad."
It's important to know just what this zealotry from Bryan Fisher, Maggie Gallagher, Dan Cathy, et al., does to everyday people. I've never done drugs, was an excellent student, an obedient child (far less trouble than many of my classmates), didn't drink until I was 22 because it terrified me, and have had just 1 speeding ticket in my life. Yet I am still seemingly deserving of this terrible act of hate and cowardice that one person can place on another. 5 years on and I am still doing fine, though this letter saunters into my mind every once in a while. When it does, I say without hesitation: Fuck you, Dad.
Does your partner have a blog too Vik? I'm glad he came out of this stronger than he went in.
ReplyDeleteThis breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteHis father may have been his father, but he was never a parent.
Real parents don't do things like that.
This is so terrible. I feel for your partner and his father. I have never understood parents reacting this way.
ReplyDeleteI guess things haven't changed. How has the rest of his family been with him?
I am so sorry you had to go through that, and learn to live with it. No one deserves that kind of "love" in their life. Please know that there are many many people who support you and with you the best, me for starters. Take care and have a great life despite him.
ReplyDeleteSad, glad you are there for him.
ReplyDeleteSad to read. I had a very similar story - my entire immediate family disowned me, claiming that they were doing so out of "love."
ReplyDeleteAnyone with actions like your partner's father doesn't understand love on any level and likely never did.
This is why it's so important for all of us to aggressively find our CHOSEN family. I'm SO glad your partner has you!
Wilson, he doesn't blog like me. But in all he is doing fine. I'm glad he posted it
ReplyDeleteThey say money is the root of all evil, but they're wrong. Religion is.
ReplyDeleteI was sad to read this letter on reddit earlier today. Sorry to hear that your partner's father is such a horrible failure not only as a parent, but as a human being.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like he's a strong one though and he made it through this. And it sounds like he has a good partner to love and support him as well!
I'm glad he posted it, too. It's made a splash in the blogosphere.
ReplyDeleteI saw this letter posted online at mused mag and commented about it over there.
ReplyDeleteI do not have words to express my sorrow for your partner.
ReplyDeleteI can say this - As a Jew, G-d does NOT hate you.
You are loved and cherished.