I'm a Prude

I was in a group conversation involving the power of sex last night. All of us had different opinions and views about what we like, what we believe, and where we stand of encounters and relationships.

During the discussion, I realized that I'm somewhat conservative. In fact, I'm considered old fashioned.

For many years, mostly in my college days, I watched my friends go through every possible situation you can think of. And through them, I learned a hell of a lot about lust, men, closeted men, and sex of course. I never knew my stance on it at the time, however I didn't want give it up freely and didn't want to be a wallflower either.

Over time, and after negative experiences with a family friend's kid and my roommate, I decided not to do anything unless I really liked the guy. I felt that why give some jerk any great "me" time if I wasn't really feeling him. It wasn't easy, my eyes always deceived me and my insecurities sometimes got the best of me, but I still didn't go to far.

Years later, I tried to explore my likes and dislikes, and found myself to be...well, a little prissy. I wasn't comfortable with causal encounters, or bed hopping. I realized I have high standards. My expectations were high and maybe a tad bit unrealistic, but I believed if I set them high I would get a decent catch.

Well that didn't work until I met my current partner, however I learned a lot about me, like:

• I'm very picky about the types of guys I like.
• There are rules I have to follow.
• I believe in waiting for the right one.
• I can't just give into the carnal madness.
• Porn's good.
  
• If you can't kiss me, why should I go downtown on you.
• Causal encounters are quick fixes, but not fulfilling.
• I could never have a f**k buddy, I'm too selfish and high maintenance.
  

Now, I understand that I stand on a different side of things when it comes to sex. But I don't knock others for their experiences or views. If I did, I wouldn't have my friends. However, I'm glad I tried different avenues to learn more about me. It's nice to be aware of my sexuality vs. blindly stumbling through. But that could be fun too.